I'm starting up again for number of reasons, but mostly, this blog will be a tool I can use so that I am able to track my daily (or every couple of days) activities, thoughts, meals, etc.
[Warning...this is a fairly hefty post! not for the ADD, or bored, or just generally not interested...
I promise the rest of my posts wont be so long! ;-) ]
A quick recap/introduction of 2013 so far
Jan-Feb
I lost 13lbs doing Weight Watchers and moderately working out.... and was feeling "OK"...Every time in the past when I've lost weight, for some reason, it does nothing to help with my depression, anxiety, or energy...HMPH!
end of Feb....BANG!!!
(and I am putting in a forewarning here...yes, what I am about to say is private and somewhat controversial, but, I am, IN NO WAY, ashamed of my decision or ashamed to open up and talk about it...so here goes)
It was Sunday, Feb 10th...and I found out I was pregnant...HOLY SHIT (I said this over and over again on the phone to my best friend Whitney)...this cant be true...my heart racing...2 at home tests later, and a HORRIBLE experience at the Dr. the next day confirmed...In my heart, I knew that this was not the time to bring a child into the world, nor was I ready. I wasn't speaking to the father at the time, and knew he didn't want to go down this avenue either (which he later confirmed). I have many reasons why I chose not to have this baby...those I will keep to myself (unless you really want to know)..BUT...TRUST ME...this was NOT an easy decision, and as time went on leading up to my appointment at Planned Parenthood, the feelings of guilt, sadness, depression, and raging hormones set in...along with terrible food choices and lack of exercise... I was angry with myself for being so irresponsible, I hated men, I got in arguments with a lot of my friends, I gave up my diet, I stopped exercising, I was just overall...ANGRY and SAD...
The day came, a week and 1/2 later, and my close friends took me to my appointment for moral support. Once there, I was calm. I knew it my gut, that this was the right thing to do. Over the course of 2-3 days, I experienced the worst physical pain I had ever felt...to date.
However, something happened that i did not expect, something in me had changed (beyond the obvious---physical). For once, in a very long time, I was HAPPY. Despite the pain, despite the uncomfortableness, despite the previous anger and sadness, despite the raging hormones...I was happy. I felt as if I got a second chance to do my life "right", to live a life where I'm AWARE, INVOLVED, MINDFUL, and ACTIVE PARTICIPANT...instead of watching my life go by and being generally unhappy and clinically depressed
Still wasn't sure to put all of this new found energy and happiness though....
Early March
I flew to Arizona to see on of my favorite people, Madalyn. I always have felt that the desert has a certain healing energy, and this was the perfect time for me to get the hell outta Dodge! Of course, we had a blast, too much food, too much booze, lots of sun, lots of pool time, lots of relaxing days...It was great
But, after I got home, I was exhausted and worn down...and a few days of this crap, I knew this was when I needed to make shit happen and be proactive! Here comes fate...or just a friend intervention...rather, "dove" intervention (inside joke)...One of my best friends Heather, told me she was reading a book called "It Starts With Food"...basically the Paleo diet, but with a few more restrictions, etc. Now, I had heard of this term before and thought it was just another "fad diet" and never did actual research. But, hearing that Heather chose this program (especially after a 3-4 month long, terrible illness) to help with her recovery, and knowing that Heather is a very intelligent, well-informed, and healthy person, it definitely sparked my interest...
so...IM HOOKED...I am still reading throughout the book, and of course, plan on reading everything I can, but to kick start things into gear I have downloaded many info sheets, read cookbooks, read lifestyle tips, and went to the grocery store :-), etc.
Now, think what you want...However, being as I studied evolutionary anthropology for the past 6 years, and evolutionary medicine for the past year, this book and the program makes COMPLETE sense to me. I gotta practice what I preach, right?
Basically, our bodies were not suited for our modern environment (you know, McDonalds on every corner, sugary processed food being cheaper than healthy fruits and veggies, corn-fed everything, stress, alcohol, drugs, you name it, the list goes on)...Our bodies were adapted for an environment that existed OVER 11,000 years ago!!!! Basically, it means, our bodies, their mechanisms, much of our psychology, etc were adapted to the lifestyle to that of a small, hunting and gathering society.... I wont go into too much detail, because it would take too long, and chances are, you have already stopped reading, haha, so I've included some links below if you are interested or want to know more
So here goes...
DAY 0 (Day 1 officially starts tomorrow...I need to give up gross ciggs)
Morning-
- 3 hard boiled eggs (half egg white, dont really like hard yolks)
- apple
- green tea
Snack (one AM/one PM)
- 2 pieces of organic turkey jerky (come to find out, still has sugar in it! DOH! cant have that...)
- raw, unsalted cashews
- cashews
- butternut squash
Afternoon:
- baked chicken
- butternut squash
- handful of blackberries
Dinner:
- lean steak, cooked in coconut oil for healthy fat
- roasted asparagus
- butternut squash
Feelings/Thoughts/Emotions throughout day:
- Woke up drowsy from Benadryl the night before, however, motivated and excited
- Rest of the day: energized, proactive, and productive
- Headache from afternoon till evening
- Overall -- satisfied...although I have to admit, donuts have popped into my mind a few times...stay away!
HELPFUL LINKS
It Starts With Food book
A Brief Intro
The Clothes Make the Girl blog
Mark's Daily Apple
and many more coming!
